My first grader had his first open day
at school and I was indeed excited. It was his first year at extended academic curriculum
and a fresh outlook on two new languages – Hindi & Marathi. Of course deep
down my concern is never related to subjects & his performance. His
concepts are right in place and I was well aware of it. The only question was
around the adjustment factor which seems to have carried on from his kinder garden
years. His existence at school has pulled up some great discussions over the
last three years. Well somewhere I knew that would be the case, after all he is
my son and that’s exactly what happened. At the outset of junior kindergarten, he
had questioned the classroom rules and ignored the regulation out of his
independent mindset. But, what was clubbed with it was what I was not ready
for. He came bundled up with an attitude of no one can point a finger at me. He
screamed and yelled on even if his name was taken with a different tone. May be
it was the over pampering he got from everyone around. I kept telling at school right from play
group, pamper him less but was I heard? I pondered.
It’s been a trek from then, right from
a happy schooler till nursery he became a scruffy goer (from a mindset point). Right
from saying that he hates his teacher to creating tantrums in the morning, junior
kinder garden saw the height of his reluctance to go to school. I still
remember his forlorn face, and it used to give me jitters. He took time to place
his trust again on his teacher after a certain incident on the very first day and
then however the change happen gradually. The push-pull factor did come of use
here. Positive vibes pushed from home on why his school is the best, why his
teacher dotes on him and does things for his good. Engaging factors pulled him
in, right from understanding his interests and covering gaps in social
interactions. His smile came back by mid-term.
Senior Kinder garden was a bit smoother
as compared and also consistent. We knew he will take his time and moreover with
a personal handover between the teachers they knew how to work with him.
As I have come to grow with him, I know
he keeps his worlds tight with strong demarcations, and in all ways he has always
expressed that himself telling me with no inhibitions that his life at school,
daycare and home has its own privacy. His relationships are his to keep and he
does not want to mix up his feelings with comparison or share conversations he
has had with anyone. As a working mother, I understood that his days are long and
away from home he has tried building his own way to tackle things and brew up
social connections. I am so proud of him that way.
Blinking my eyes, I came back to the
present and entered the classroom. There were no parents in queue and that gave
me some ease for the long time I could spend with his teacher, which I actually
did. So how is he doing? I started. And because it needs to be another surprise
I was told that my son is the quietest child in the class! I did chuckle and
then started telling stories of heights at home - The height of naughtiness,
curiousness, kicking, tickling, hyper activity and more. His teacher than gave
a snoot! (Mentioning it for the point recognized here and not for the person in
action) Oh! She exclaimed. He wants to be in the good books of all! The
answer was right in front of her.
I was also a little startled. My boy is
being clever and also may be a bit confused, I said. His world of good and bad
are also much demarked now. So much that he is an extrovert at home but
introvert at school. Can children be like that?
We both gave a grin and started talking
about our next course of action. It was time for strategies again but all
together at a different level. This was tough because we were going to stride
on the brim of moral values. What is right and what is wrong has always been
questioned in all aspects of life and it’s our turn now to play with it.
Last month was his second open day of
first grade and we are looking at changes said his teachers. His grades don’t need
a mention but he is talking, questioning, laughing loud and playing it cool. We
are sure he will be what he is gradually said his ICT teacher and it did bring
a smile on my face.
Being from the education turf I knew they
were using classroom action tools and strategies like buddy system, think-tank
teams, trigger interest time and more. But whatever may be the case the journey
with his teachers has been inspiring for the patience and love they show and it
has also got me understand children better at home or work front.
I never knew a term called Ambivert and
once I know now, I understood that we both as parents are also Ambiverts.
Who are Ambiverts?
Ambiverts are people who don't really prefer one way
of functioning over another. In other words, you could say they're the neutral,
middle-ground hippies. They're equally comfortable in situations where the
introvert feels most at home and situations where the extrovert is having a
good time.
So yeah, an extrovert can love
conversation and discussion, but still feel like they need to be alone to
process the information later. An introvert can feel the need to be alone but still enjoy
being happy and cheerful.
I took a deep breath at the end of the
thought and wrote…
At life’s front, every step our child
takes is a jump for us. It makes us so much aware of who we are and how we
tackle one of the most overused but necessary term called Parenting!
