Sunday 31 July 2016

The Big Black Broken Umbrella

My very first try at a simple fictional story-line built up with some real life experiences, humble characters & the thoughts of an ordinary mind. 


We had planned that July well in advance, it was great old nana’s 95th birthday and we all wanted to be there and celebrate life along with him. My little ones, Myrah & Smyan where too excited to get into the city they knew very little about. From our last trip which was almost two years back, the only thing they remembered beyond their paternal grandparents’ humble little villa was the sea creek beyond it & the green lush mangroves siding it up.

Decking up the suitcases in the hallway, I made a last dash for our monsoon accessories, two “Disney” raincoats and vibrant umbrellas for the noisy buggers; two “Quechua” raincoats, all of which we had specially got from the Decathlon store for this trip. All that was going to go into the “Wildcraft” bag pack to be taken as our hand luggage again just bought for our journey.

The cab arrived on time and we all howled a ‘Hip hip hippy hurray! Happy holidays’ and got in swiftly into the sedan with jerky us and screechy kids. It was a smooth drive, and finally I let out my sigh on drifting away from the mundane daily to the much awaited break. My hubby gave me a reassuring smile, bringing in that same old “I will win the world” glow on my face.

The flight was delayed by thirty minutes and it got us a chance to nibble on some junk which of course for the kids is delicacy enough. I never knew what was a burger or pizza until I was in my high school. And now, it seems this western street food has taken over on getting into the staple food list for this generation. I have never been able to understand the wobbling and gobbling speed difference between home cooked food & these brand loaded piece of junk. Breaking away from my thoughts, I looked at my hubby who was just ending his very urgent call from office. Well, of course that call ended the moment he saw my nose ready to puff out the fire. “We Promised, it’s a hands free holiday!” “It was the last one, I got the instant reply.”

The flight was again very calming, not very crowded. I got into reading the magazine from the seat pouch. My hubby wanted to take a power nap before we descend, so that he is up on his feet for all the birthday preparation we had to do for the next two days. The kids were busy with some game they used to play in their school bus. The time for their uncontrollable edgy need for our gadgets, did come in after some time. But, this holiday we had already told them was coming with no mobiles or ipads. It’s that moment of saying ‘No’ I feel gives me my migraine, but then, it’s like that journey to prove and take away the crown of parenting at times and then feeling like  running away most of the times. But, then we are responsible for this wicked lifestyle, aren’t we? The lines between work & home rarely fades, taking in our kids too for the virtual ride.

It was time to land and for my hubby to wake up. He opened his eyes to a sulky me. What happened? He asked sheepishly twisting himself out of his slumber pose. The weather, I said, they just announced, its pouring cats and dogs. Our kids are so used to the arid, extreme, rarely monsoon climate of Delhi, I don’t know how they are going to accept the slushy time ahead. Hmmmm, hymned my husband pouting his lips. In a while, looking out of the window he said, “Making way for Mumbai in the rains all depends on your individual psyche, it could either make you fall in love or make you feel betrayed for the rest of your life”. He grinned, pushing his eye brows up & down, feeling cool about his ability to cook up this on the spot tag line.   

It took us more than it took us above the ground, to reach our destination. Nana ji, was waiting at the porch with his same old friends who seemed to have got more rickety than him. Johnny was wagging his tail but not jumping like before, Cleopatra looked wise & purred at intervals. Nana ji’s wooden walking stick gave away some dents & colour fading. Nana ji on the other hand looked timeless & eternal just like the way I first saw him on our wedding day.

After the initial hellos and pranams, we straight got into the dining for some evening snacks and Daboo bhaiya’s special masala chai. Now, Daboo bhaiya has been part of our family even before I got in, so my knowledge of the family territory and news bytes was directly sourced from him most of the times. Bahu rani, as he fondly called me in a certain Maharashtrian dialect gave me the same blush when he had first called me so when we came here just after our wedding.

After an hour into our conversations, I had to take leave to tend to the kids. They had to take their bath, have dinner and hit the bed by 9.00 pm. That’s a routine I never break, it helps us be in discipline no matter where we are. I found them exactly where I knew I would. The old dilapidated guest house behind the villa where the pets stayed. They were having fun without the gadgets. Real fun. Live fun. It made me fill with contentment. 

Meeting again for dinner, we spoke about our responsibilities for the birthday preparation. Bade bhaiya, my hubby’s very close cousin brother was arriving with his family two days later. And then we will be joined by my hubby’s sister, who is flying in from London where she is completing her PH.D. My hubby & his sister lost their parents while they were very young, just in middle & primary school. Nana’ji and Nani’ji had brought them up here in Mumbai and co-created the family life which otherwise would have been lost. Nani’ji left us a decade back, leaving Nana’ji broken and cheerless. My hubby and his sister had stayed with him for a month, and got Johnny and Cleopatra to give him good company. Daboo bhaiya who had gone back to his village for good, was also called back, this time, not as call of duty but, for sharing what’s left of life together. Since Daboo bhaiya is not married and does not have much obligations, he readily agreed to our uncertainty with Nana’ji & was more than happy moving in again.  

It’s almost years now since Nani’ji left us and the villa is still untouched from any externality, may be because of the dust free zone, or Daboo bhaiya’s effort or because it resonates of two pure and simple souls living in it.

I had taken the responsibility of cleaning up the guest house & verandah and inviting the neighbors around the colony, ofcourse all along with Daboo bhaiya’s intervention.  So first thing in the morning, after an elaborate breakfast of Poha, Puri Channa and Sheera, I started inching out the guesthouse. The kids were taken for a walk by nana’ji to the park along the sea creek for them to feel & breathe fresh and play along.

A cupboard full of partly broken crockeries, a 3-legged chair, half-munched books, loads of clothes, rusted utensils were just the beginning of the process. I had made up my mind that no keeps and all throws will be my policy which I soon realized was having a major competition with Daboo Bhaiya who seemed to have some deep connection with every scrap in there.

With great difficulty, I almost finished clearing up, when I saw something protruding from behind the rustic window doors. The creaking of window showed since when it has never been closed, there behind it was a big black broken umbrella. Half its holding stick had come out and there was one perfect tear right from top to bottom. Why is this even here, I mugged. Throw this away bhiaya. It’s of no use any longer. I will work on it, I heard back. Without any comment I just left to find out what the kids have been up to. It was almost 1:00 pm and they had not returned. Daboo bhaiya, I called out, what can we make for lunch? Bahoo rani, Khichdi is the best for today. It’s quick & we can spend more time on the preparations then. Then let me make it and you continue cleaning up, I said. I entered the kitchen and stood awestruck. It was so well organized that my eyes popped out. It didn’t take me much time to know what’s kept where. An hour later the kids and nana ji were back, craving for some home-made food pampering. After lunch the kids just wanted to take a nap and I let them. Evening it started raining. We had planned to go to the nearby market with the kids. We all put on our raincoats & kids picked their umbrella to get going. Daboo Bhaiya, chuckled and said, it seems you have come all prepared. It rains very heavily here so why don’t you also take the umbrella we found in the guest house? I have mend it and it’s good to take along. On the porch was sitting the big black half broken umbrella with a dash of white thread stitch streaking through its frame. No way, I and my hubby said in synchronization. Startled, by our tone, Daboo bhaiya stood still. Nana ji uttered, for you it is so useless right? The use and throw generation doesn’t care for it. Being the reactive kind, I said, Nana ji, it’s not like that, but may be deep inside I knew that I felt funny carrying an old fashioned umbrella half broken and stitched up.     

For the next entire day too, the big black broken umbrella was stuck to the porch, unwilling to go elsewhere inside the house or outside. The kids were happier playing the imagination game with it. The umbrella suddenly was given the character of a crow, a camping tent, a hot air balloon or anything else as their story took roots & paths. 

Daboo bhaiya, I called out, let’s do one last round of clean up before bade bhaiya, bhabhi, the kids and choti come in, we won’t have time tomorrow.  Okay, came the reply and we got buzy.

The next three days was just crazy fun and frolic. We had asked for food delivery for the days so that none of us are spending time cooking but with each other. It worked out well and the birthday party was very classic because of many of Nana ji’s silver friends took to have the best time ever in ages.

Passing by the porch one of those days, I found the umbrella gone and thought to myself, the kids must have broken it again and Daboo bhaiya must have put it away again behind a window or door.


Holidays make us realize how away we are from the real need of life. All we want is family, friends, laughter and modest days but somehow we get pulled into the currents of a fast moving city life.

Being away from the routine, I was actually not able to understand how I want to plan my day. Finding myself clueless was a surprise for myself.   

Our ten days break was winding up faster than I thought, it was time to leave that evening and so I decided to take a long walk along the creek to pull in as much fresh air and undisputed time as possible before our time is up. I put on my rain wear accessories and started walking along the footpath. It was raining quite heavily but my Quechua raincoat was holding up for what it’s worth. People were busy starting there last day of the week and school autos were picking up the kids. Just as I was crossing a by-lane, something familiar crossed my eyes. I jerked myself to stop, and see again. I was not mistaken, it was the same dash of white thread stitch streaking through its frame, with a half broken stick. It gave shelter to three school boys, one of the bigger boys holding it and two more clubbing together to escape from getting wet. I could just smile for a while before I started walking again, deep in my thoughts. 

Wednesday 27 July 2016

I always had a home

I always had a home, with no walls, no windows,
I always had a home, with no rooms, no doors,
I always had a home I ran to, to talk, laugh and cry,
I always had a home which swarmed me with its love, tried me with its dreams,
I always had a home only with mirrors of mighty days & shadowing nights
I always had a home which told me to leave for the journey called life


Wednesday 20 July 2016

Beating up of gender biases through the ironic state of cross-sex friendship



The door for feeling human seems to be at the far end of the long resilient corridor, because every day still brings with itself windows of gender differences. Even though, our country ‘seems’ to be screaming of its woman power icons making their place at world’s end, here we are, as singles, committed, complicated or married, all together men, women and our kinds, making our choices on friendship and the drawing lines of extent. I severely feel like bursting some of these bubble makers and sensitize them of their mental limitations. We have forgotten in all sense of what ‘Being human’ is all about except for the fashion line which is all together another ironic story which I have no intention writing about.

Does marriage make people more conservative? Do couples form the base of their relationship on rules of opposite sex behavioral outlooks? Do marriages have a rule book which says “Friendship” is secondary to the security of our marriage? Well, I’m sure the answer is a thunderous yes for many men and women out there. And all I feel is pity for them and glad for me, that from the root of my mind I’m not like any of them along with my husband. And I’m sure a lot more are like us, similar in being open to embracing friends from wide & far and near.

The cultural aspect of friendship is so farfetched, we don’t even accept gender co-existence in our marriages. Thanks to generations of patriarchy, the concept of opposite sex friends still has not found a rooted hold in our community. Of course the change is till you are wed, the torch of patriarchy is then the right of your spouse, women more and men less though, from my outlook. Women feel the need of the three F’s then, beginning with, he will fend for me, he will fight and kick for me and he can then flip me. The men on the other hand feel the three P’s, starting with owning her makes me powerful, making her happy makes me feel privileged and having her makes me push. Putting this all together in a bowl along with some variables on dreams, ambitions, and compromises here is our modern day marriage scenarios fringing out on benefits. On the out it seems so outgoing and in the inside it stops you from growing as individuals closing in on exploring your mental, cultural and social growth as humans. All you are left with are the titles of husband and wife with a tag “Happily Married Ever After”. 

The question on gender is that the learning of different perspectives on human growth through relationships like cross-sex friendship continue as of now grinding and churning and looking for outlets of freedom. We call ourselves modern out lookers under the ironic scrutiny of friendship all barred under the knot of marriages. In fact, the undertone of many marriages out there, are coming out brewing with spousal jealousy, insecurities and possessive break downs. Indian households believe in protecting marriages beyond fake dignity and that means something like cross-sex friendship is not secondary but in fact not considered as something of any prominence.

Considering the existence of these unwise and ridiculous mindsets, where is gender consideration in the betterment of this society and growth of our own self? Well, all is out there hidden, unexplored, at times self-caged, taunted by spouse, assassinated by the society and thrown out of view!


Making up from this, it seems right to say that gender inequality continues its journey gaining momentum through the different strides in life hoping for respite and its final redemption..      

Tuesday 19 July 2016

The Glistening & ever impressive Arabian Sea


The Contours, shades and flavors of "The Arabian Sea" doesn't ever fail to impress me right through Gujarat, where it turns earthy brown to a deep-rooted black; Maharashtra, where it turns cheerfully clear, at times icy blue and muddy; at the tip of Tamil Nadu at Thriveni Sangamam - the point of confluence, turning green with envy, it has the priviledge of gobbling up the Sun right up till the western sky!!! (Inset: Arabian Sea from the Daman Fort, Gujarat)

Sunday 17 July 2016

A Detour ~ The eroding glory of Daman & the eternal hamlet of Udvada (GUJARAT)

A Detour I took has stunned me and made me wear that satiating smile for one core reason, and that is ‘I never expected it to be so culturally rich, historically strong and mystic in character’.

The eroding glory of Daman
Forming the western coast of the country and looking straight into the vast Arabian Sea, the Daman district falls parallel to the railway points of Vapi and Valsad. So, in terms of reach it’s quite easy to get into any train which connects the crucial business centers of Gujarat namely, Surat, Bharuch, Vadodara and Ahmedabad. Just get down at Vapi railway junction and take a cab or rick for the next 13 kms to enter Daman. I did the same & checked-in into Hotel Blue Lagoon which I had booked through Make my Trip.

The history of Daman: Daman was acquired by the Portuguese from the Shah of Gujarat. They noticed the port of Daman for the first time in 1523. They attacked it several times and finally obtained it in 1559 by means of a treaty with the Shah. Thereafter, it was under the rule of Portuguese till its liberation in 1961. Even after 14 years of India’s Independence, the Portuguese stubbornly continued to occupy these territories in spite of the local population’s struggle against occupation and suppression. Indian troops moved in on December 18, 1961 under the code name ‘Operation Vijay’, and liberated Daman from nearly 450 years of Portuguese rule.

The current Daman:

The look of Moti Daman gives away its weary story, Daman survives under an outrageous immigration loophole taking away its population along with those in Diu and Goa under the pretext of becoming citizens of Portugal, even though they never set foot there. At least 20,000 people have evaded strict checks on non-EU residents coming to the UK after obtaining Portuguese passports in India which give them full rights to live and work here. The Indians have taken advantage of Portuguese law allowing anyone born before 1961 in the Indian west coast state of Goa and the coastal towns further north of Daman and Diu to give up their Indian passport and become EU citizens simply because these places were once colonies of Portugal. The loophole is also open to a person’s children and grandchildren.


Travel Dairy:

After a good night’s sleep after a long time and some light breakfast, I planned to make it a freestyle travel day. No advance cab bookings. Just get out and start looking for options. I got an auto who dropped me at the Daman bus stop from where I took another auto to start my exploration.

The auto guy told me that the river “Daman-Ganga” makes for the twin towns of Moti Daman (Old Daman) and Nani Daman (New Daman).

Ironically true, Moti Daman boasts of the architectural glories of the Portugal rule and Nani Daman makes it seem like a poor cousin of Goa. However, the best of both is something which turns it into a weekend-getaway mostly flocked by students from the reachable educational hubs across south Gujarat & the working youth or families from the strong hold of manufacturing industries in the district.

Moti Daman (Old)

The Church of Bom Jesus 1603 AD




The Community (Residence and Government Offices) surrounding the Church of Bom Jesus





The Old Lighthouse rising out of the Daman Fort


A different flavour and contour of the Arabian sea from the Gujarat coast 
(clicked from the Daman fort)



The newly constructed light house




The remnants of the fort





The Daman Jetty






The Church of Our Lady of Remedios 1607 AD





The Muddy waters of Jampore Beach


Something to Sip & Munch


The stretch with free liquor hubs  




Nani Daman (New)

The Devka Beach with lots of liquor, a camel, small dark pebbles and black soil 







The beautiful Mirasol lake garden & restaurant 









The eternal hamlet of Udvada

I first ventured into this town’s ethnic significance just by chance on google while trying to search for “places to see in Daman”. But, never knew I had hit a lucky gold pot till I actually stepped into the lanes of this strangely quite hamlet (In no sense it gives the feel of a town) which seems to be hiding itself from any bit of external atom. 

The Iranshah Aatash Behram, Udvada


Strolling through its unbearably peaceful lanes, I felt severely torn between my own personality, one which screams to be known by writing away here and the other which wants to be quite into myself toiling away to attain my objective. So is this place, which takes you to another world, which I at least have never seen before. It stands for itself peacefully and with pure integrity.  The lanes do hold secrets in the form of some ghostly looking locked up houses with overgrown shrubs and climbers consuming them bit by bit it. 

A Traditional Parsi house






The peeks of people made me realize that very rarely do non-Zoroastrians visit this place which is home to Aatash Behram which is the oldest and the holiest fire temple of the Zoroastrian community in the world. The current temple was built in 1742 by Dinshaw Dorabjee Mistry from Bombay


The temple has a notice board saying strictly “Non- Parsi not allowed inside the temple”. There swing my mood but, lifted up my curiousness on why is that so? I did get my answers later at the Zoroastrian heritage museum, a marvelous journey in itself, it is sponsored by the Government of Gujarat. This museum contains summaries of the teachings and beliefs of lord Ahura Mazda, it has a large write up, that tells you about the history of the Parsi's and Ahura Mazda. It also has explanations and write ups on the holy ceremony of the Parsis called Navjot.

Aatash Behram:
The highest grade of fire is the Atash Behram, "Fire of victory", and its establishment and consecration is the most elaborate of the three. It involves the gathering of 16 different "kinds of fire", that is, fires gathered from 16 different sources, including lightning, fire from a cremation pyre, fire from trades where a furnace is operated, and fires from the hearths as is also the case for the Atash Adaran. Each of the 16 fires is then subject to a purification ritual before it joins the others. 32 priests are required for the consecration ceremony, which can take up to a year to complete.

A list of the nine Atash Behrams:
·         Iranshah Atash Behram in Udvada, India. Established 1742.
·         Desai Atash Behram in Navsari, India. Established 1765.
·         Dadiseth Atash Behram in Mumbai, India. Established 1783.
·         Vakil Atash Behram in Surat, India. Established 1823.
·         Modi Atash Behram in Surat, India. Established 1823.
·         Wadia Atash Behram in Mumbai, India. Established 1830.
·         Banaji Atash Behram in Mumbai, India. Established 1845.
·         Anjuman Atash Behram in Mumbai, India. Established 1897.
·         Yezd Atash Behram in Yazd, Iran. Established 1934.

Travel Dairy:

Udvada, is a place where time seems to have stopped. It’s like it follows its own unique time zone breaking away from anything which wants to spoil that eternal instinct it radiates. 15 kms from Daman and 200kms north of Mumbai, it’s a must visit for anyone seeking a tangible and intangible heritage experience.



The inside compound of the Aatash Behram







Zoroastrian heritage museum (Inaugurated by then then CM of Gujarat Mr Modi in 2008)




The Souvenir Shop



The hidden windows, the green canvas, the brown facets and more of the gems







The name says it all, but, all the cakes where taken so satiated with some coconut cookies & tutti frooti rusk

 


Cultural and Architectural Preservation:

The town, and its ambience, is under threat from the advancing sea (and consequent salinity) and commercialization. The Mumbai-based Save Udvada Committee, supported by the Indian and Gujarat state governments, is engaged in combating sea-driven erosion.[6] There have also been attempts to get Udvada declared a World Heritage Site, to protect the ancient residences and the fire temple. The typical Parsi homes here with their high ceilings, sloped roofs with ornamental skirting, and double otlas (porches) are over a century old, and considered worth preserving. 



From my balcony

26.03.2020 18.30 pm - 19.20 pm  Stay there for some more time, Before time gobbles you for today!  Are you screening the waters ...