An Angel in Disguise - Striding Loss

Life has given us lots of reasons to smile and cry. And sometimes
along the sidelines of life, we meet people, who we feel privileged
to know. The respect I have for this woman has no bounds. I met
Sujatha almost a decade back at our workplace in Chennai. Loved
her chirpy voice, friendly nature and a beautiful smile which made
its way to most of us to have a great day at work. In a while, I got
married and moved to Mumbai but, we did connect on Facebook
and have been in touch then on.

On 1st December, 2016 I read a Facebook post by one of our
colleague and was a bit moved by its content. It spoke of one of
his colleague friend losing her only son on 30th November 2016.
Checking the post the second time, I read someone mention
Sujatha. It did stuck me hard and I contacted this colleague and
indeed it was my friend Sujatha. I couldn't believe it and felt
numb all along the day. I didn't have her mobile number as
mostly we were a chat on Facebook friend. But, also my mind
was going berserk thinking what will I say to her when I chat with
her again. How is she, now at this moment? I couldn't even imagine
or very truly feel the fathom of sadness she must be experiencing.

Her first Facebook post came on 4th December, 2016. We all were
just staring blankly at this picture with dense forest with smoke
green trees and no path to be found. Some visuals do make you
go speechless without a blink. I kept staring at it for a long time
and just liked it with no courage to utter any words as comments.
Just 2-3 of her friends commented on it. The post kept coming on
intervals and always were sobbing with words and visuals. I am
sure it took many of us women and then men to find the strength
in our mind to think what to say to her and then write it finally.
Gradually the comment sections in the post were longer and I too
found myself beginning to comment on them.

It is a year now and I can say with much deliberation that I do not
hold even a miniscule of "Will Power" and "Grit", Sujatha owns,
showcases and applies to what she has been given in life.

The past one year, many of us have seen her and tried feeling what
she does not just in vain but, in all practical aspects too. This
November she lost her beloved Mother to terminal stage thyroid
cancer. And I told her that I am not even a pinch to the
understanding she weaves and stand she shows in life.

I could only write this blog post now, seeing and feeling her wade
through the sea of unending sorrow and coming up to catch her
breath right through blocks of frozen ice.

In just a year she lost both her beloved Son and then Mother.
And when all including me, may think that life cannot get more
cruel than this, she finds and gives us hope in that space too.
I have fallen short of words first time in my life.

Sujatha is an Inspiration! And we all around her derive our
strength from her and not the other way around. Sujatha shares
an vibrant universal energy and that vibes us all around her.

To spread the love and affection to those in need, as SIRISH, her
son always wanted to, the parents, family and friends have started
a community programme called SOS.  Their effort is to the world
that already knew and even didn't know SIRISH to see him as an
ANGEL IN DISGUISE in the way of meaningful life and compassionate
humanity. This is not a fund raising programme but, just a memorial
helping others in need. Here is the Facebook page for this
community which you can like and follow

https://www.facebook.com/SOS-133310733964503/

Knowing that this inconsolable loss will have a pit less vacuum in
Sujatha, I still find her so fierce with some very crucial and essential
life skills we need to learn and also teach our children the same
because death is pertinent where life is present.

The need to be 'Emotionally Intelligent' is in high order here.
Followed by the practice of 'Solitude', teaching of ‘Failure’, the
strength of 'Grit & Will Power', 'Mindfulness', 'Empathy’ and
‘Compassion'.

Understanding Sujatha a bit more in a year now, it strongly points
that her source of all these core power values is gathered light right
from her growing up years when her parents and community must
have inculcated and built this vessel of esteem asset in her.

Emotional Intelligence is the tussle of bringing yourself to know
who you are and want to be. It is the work of both - your mind &
your heart. The combination of Mind's IQ and Heart's EQ is what
will make the "YOU"!  

Solitude is cutting yourself from anything tangible and sometimes
even the intangible. It’s like when sometimes you go and clear even
the recycle bin on your laptop. Stop brooding on anything and earn
yourself a generous 10-15 minute of just lazing around time in a day.

Failure is not just about any mean ends but, the process of trying
itself. If you stop trying things, do not change or do not take leaps,
you become immune to risk taking. You stop growing then. You
become dull without ambition and wither away.

Grit and Will Power comes with great resolves and strength. Keep
looking ahead to achieve goals - old and new.  We can also talk
about perseverance here. Keep trying. Keep at it..

Mindfulness is self-study. Bringing our mind to the present second.
Feeling the vibrations of even the breeze flowing through our body
hair. Meditation and Yoga are tools to understand our mindfulness
and tune it to our progress.

Empathy steps in when we pull up our strings of resilience and
retrospection. Both these strings need to be pulled with equal
velocity and we can then place together the feeling of others and
ours to think ahead in systematic or random order.  

Compassion is the last action in this chain of values. It comes just
after empathy in the form of reuniting ourselves with the universe
and aligning our existence with the work given to us in this life.

Sujatha has been in depression, but, at the same time she finds
the key to open up that vault of depression and let her sorrows
convert into remembrance bit by bit, second per second, it is
happening as we read. And me, you and the universe can just
admire her in light years to come…

Love is not blind, just you are mine.

I don't believe in the best at all. I only believe in what is best for me.

I don't believe in love is blind. I only believe in love is mine.

I don't believe people who wear layers over them and pretend to have it all. I only believe people who will be with me in their rawest appeal and still turn me on.

I don't believe in charms. I only believe in truth even if it shatters me.

Don't show me dreams.Show me realities. But, also don't tell me there is just one life. We are too wild to contain into it.

Our roads will turn, paths will split. The crossovers will prick. But, darling we have to walk together to celebrate the time given to us. Because we need to write our story together not leave it to others to imagine upon us.

Nothing can be ever so convincing. Love is not blind, just you are mine.

Movie Review: Wonder (2017) Must Watch for Parents, Children, Educators

Once in a while comes a movie... And makes you Wonder on all the goodness that needs to be:

1. There in a school... Not a dream school which boxes you in, not a school which rates you on criterias, not a school which is made of parents judging the hell out, but, a school where minds are open, hearts are beating and the soul is happy.

2. There are families ... which are fighting their battles not seen with the eyes of perfection. Life is so much fun with all the ups and downs..... we need to touch everything to be happy.. even embarrassment, disgust, rage ...it's like the mingling up is what we will finally laugh about and feel content about when it's time to rest...

3. They are children... who observe and take away from their parents.. be what you want your child to be.. no matter what you teach, they will be what you show them.

4. There is parenting... which is just the modern twist for the old school name raising children. I still prefer the old school. Surround your small nuclear unit with layers of relationships... That's what a real family is .. full of coziness, friends, well-wishers....pet... more

5. Classrooms which teach that when it's between right and kind, choose kind!

6. Homeschooling is great and it's an attitude before it's an decision. In India itself, homeschooling numbers have been steadily and should I say stealthily increasing over the last seven years with very active Facebook and whats app groups with regular city and town meet-ups.

7. Bullying is a no tolerance zone. It's the first red flag to a self-centered behavior and needs to be curbed quickly.

8. Teenage relationships will always be complex, because it is in this phase that they want to unlearn their past and experiment with anything new which makes them the center of the cosmos. The role of parents here is to keep the conversations going.

9. "Just because you are different, it doesn't mean it's always about you". As part of bringing up children with special needs, we need to raise them just the way we will with a regular kid. These kids need to understand that everyone has the same chances, it depends who took them and at times what the priorities look like.

10. The most crucial message is also that a marriage is completely different from parenting, and it needs it's time and care. A couple will always be a couple and they need to show their love for each other and also keep sharing all along. Be cool parents, by being the best friends for each other.   

So Wonder makes it to my must watch and re-watch list..
#choosekind

The Role of Educators and Parents in Building a Smart Economy

The Circle has been an answer to many a questions. What goes around, comes around. And that's the way the economy needs to get rebuilt.

The requirement is to build an ever-flowing economy together and instill that idea or seed in our schools, children and our youth.

As educators and parents, use these 3 steps to build this smart economy:

1. Create

2. Cascade

3. Circulate 

Now, start working around these 5 economic challenges keeping the above 3 steps in regard:

1. Creative thinking and designing business with the simplicity of an restorative mindset.

2. Rebuild capital circles through constant equally dispersed cash flows.

3. Healthy natural living & ownership of our ecology.

4. Socio-emotional learning comes with the super power combination of IQ and EQ in driving our relationships across our life line.

5. Regenerative and Recyclable manufacturing systems & components.  

We need to leave globalization to where it has reached and move ahead towards the next level of the economy, the circular economy - ever encompassing.

Copyrights: [The content here is copyrighted with Chirp, Chatter, Cheer, a creative platform which envisions to unlock your imagination power, build on your reflection and lead you on a path of self-discovery!!] ~ FB/Chirpchattercheer

#Designthinking #Circulareconomy #buildasmarteconomy #Emotionalintelligence
#Rebuildingcapital #redesigninglife #Restorationmodels #Regenerativetechniques #Recycle 

Web of Life

“The earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected, like the blood, which unites one family. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.” ~ Chief Seattle, Duwamish tribe

#earth #earthquotes #duwamish #duwamishtribe #weboflife #lifequote #humanrace

Life of an Ambitious Woman

I will make sure I say that "I am Ambitious!" I told one of my hostel friend. I was working in Chennai then, loving each day for the extra zing it added to the independence I loved. I had decided for an traditional Indian arranged marriage after constant impeccable episodes from my parents and relatives. It was just a very normal day in January 2009, we met under the supervision of a dozen relatives under one roof but, did overtake them to end up in the terrace for to catch a few spoken words and fresh glances. We did share our numbers and I think I knew he will call me. And yes he did just the next day and asked me for a date. before I knew we were at his pace for dinner too and the third day we had my dad come to his place to talk more, fourth day was a bit of "silence before the storm" and the fifth day was all filled with a big "Yes"! It did feel too soon and indeed it was. But, I had already discussed with him my three points and yes, I had told him "I am Ambitious!". A few days later it was all sealed formally with a private ceremony and the dates were out for the engagement two months later. My dad was more concerned about the marriage so even those dates got fixed earlier and before I knew or was even engaged the wedding cards were out. It was either my dad's desperation or just a dice of destiny. The rings were exchanged in March 2009 with loads of happiness and beautiful hopes. It began the very next day, the issues, but the symptoms were out earlier. Well the women of his house, the mother-in-law and sister-in-law were all against our dream which had just begun and they made no all attempts to stop us weaving it. It was like this B-grade typical TV serial episode . I didn't want any negatives vibes with new relationships so for me it was very clear. It's yes or no and it was just an arranged marriage after all. But, I suppose my husband had already decided his call and so it did came as surprise when he told his family, that either we do this together or we proceed. Well, it did happen, June 2009.

I had to quit my job, to move in with my husband who was on a project in Andhra Pradesh. We knew Mumbai was on the cards in just a few months. So were calm about the future. It began the very next day of marriage, coming out to begin my new day, I asked her if there is any work in the kitchen ? The answer came calm and straight. That's what we got you for. I ignored it. But, did blast my husband later. I shouldn't have. I should have done it to her. My mother-in-law who wanted to stay with her son moved with us to Andhra. The nights were spend in union with the mother who would come knocking at our doors at even 12 midnight. Mornings were spoilt with again door bangs on making her so wake up and go to office. Well I am missing out on a lot more which came in-between, but, maybe that is because I choose to ignore it to the extent of not remembering much. But, I suppose every episode got thrown out of the window under the pretext of something or the other. In all that mess, I also got pregnant and my mom got me home early for delivery to help me get away with the viscous pangs of my mother-in-law. Time was good again.

The delivery time came near and my mother-in-law stepped back into my life. I couldn't get my labour pains and had to go for induced labour. There was a bit of a tension and suddenly my very normal delivery took a turn to become a C-section. It was a sudden decision with the fetus going into distress and the heartbeats started falling faster than time. My husband and my mother had gone down for coffee break and the nurse could reach through their mobile. My mother-in-law was called and told about the situation. And her reaction stirred a revolution in the OT ward. She was again calm and straight. She wanted the baby to not come on Tuesday but, the next day or any other. The doctor who was the HOD of gynecology bashed her with all her might saying the mother and baby are in danger and you thinking about a day. Any Day is good because everyday is a good day. This I came to know only later when the doctor told me. Inside the room I could hear a lot of commotion but, I was going through an unknown path myself that was filled with so much of fear that I have not known or understood before. All I wanted is a hand of courage and a heart of compassion. And what I got was what was going to define my thoughts for my mother-in-law for an eternity and more. She came into the room and I extended my hands. All she did was say "All the best" from a distance and leave me there all alone to go through what I going through. Neither have I met a woman like her before and not till now. She still stays and will stay as someone who never understood the true meaning of life and relationships in it. After having a healthy baby I was strolled back into ICU and all she could again say was "You have a cute one there". That's all she is, I thought to myself and told about it to my husband later.

The years to follow were never good and very bad at times, filled with verbal and mental abuses from her. Her venom was crushing our marriage still things were all the same. My constant appeal to my husband to do something about it was reacted with some strong joint conversations with his mother. Nothing helped. I realized that this woman was doing everything deliberately. She has decided she will hate me and won't make me stay happy. Her only need was her desire to be with her son. She doesn't have much to do with me or my son.

I started working on projects and then full time jobs and work from homes. She was never happy. Always cribbing about how I keep working on my laptop. She didn't touch the food I made for the first three years. Never will speak a word of praise or even feedback. It was my husband all along who tried getting both the roles into play. I was treated more like an untouchable and I was made to feel it. They say words can be forgotten but, not how one was made to feel. It stands so true in my case.

Things did change and I was the one who got them to change especially when the hell of her touched my parents too. I knew I wanted this marriage, and she is the one who is crumbling it, thrashing it and playing with it. I asked her to get out of our house. Go out for all you have done, I told her. Her ego is bigger than her womanhood so she did move out after giving me a shunted warning that she will tell the world that I threw her out. My answer was crystal, I said "Say it".

It's been a year now and we have maybe just had one or two fights which has nothing to do with her. We have loved and respected each other all along.

But, she can't see our happiness even from far and started some new gimmicks this year.

I suppose we are going to handle it as it comes....

So here was the other side of the life of an ambitious woman.

This is just the shortest version of what I wanted to express.

True in each aspect and a lot more not mentioned to spare you readers of the unnecessary ways of a vicious mind to control your life.

Ignorance can be bliss is very temporary.

We have to respect ourselves first and foremost.

If anything costs your peace it is not worth it…

And the last but not the least. Be clear and say "I am Ambitious!"

My husband married me for who I am and wanted to become.

And I have his support on it forever.

A Child's Prayer Resonates with the Universe

We often used to hear our grandparents say that when children pray, the prayers are answered sooner and make way for miracles too.

Have you ever wondered why?

We have always given a very spiritual reasoning to prayers. But, Prayers are a blend of this very strong cultural continuity brimming with core positive energy created and flowing from inside us to the one we pray for and then simultaneously to everyone making the world around us.

A Prayer can be visualized as a natural thriving tree with branches of science, psychology, metaphysics, spirituality and an unknown powerful intervention.

There is sufficient evidence that collective prayers from random locations have brought in the required miracle. This is mostly been given the reasoning of being brought about due to the common state of consciousness in people even if they are far apart.

In our superfast life, we rarely find time to complete our basic routines. And so Prayer seems a distant goal set for sometime later when we can go to our respective spiritual destinations on a weekend.

Prayer especially for us working families has become another 'things to do' entry in our organizer or calendar. And it stays almost last on our priority until its time to ring the bell with our need for instant gratification. We become children in front of our supreme divine, the moment we have some impending need for growth or some risk which needs immediate removal. Imagine, if we as adults can behave with such childish squirms during times of qualms; what about children who are just learning to understand their role in the cycle of life?

But, the truth is also that many of us have not built the habit of praying into our daily life, tagging it as traditional, old school or not our cup of tea.

This is also because with time, "raising children" has been replaced by the term "Parenting" which is the modernistic take on what has been experienced in a loop for ever.

With time indeed there are some very high red flag areas of concern because of the competition, online exposure, lack of time in family life and increasing crime against children because of psychological stress factors. But, these issues need planned interventions from several sections of the society. No point taking everything extremely seriously and losing touch with our cultural roots which are still being researched even with so much modernity.

The power of prayers have not been decoded yet, but, they have proved their efficacy with pure manifestation.

There are seven steps to attain the efficacy of prayer from a metaphysics and spiritual angle starting with:

1. Humbleness to the greater powers of the universe

2. Alignment of the mind-body-soul trinity and bringing in channelized attitude

3. Direction towards the sole purpose with encompassing conscious state

4. Exchange of qualities as an offering or giving up something in return to the fulfillment of our intentions.

5. Gratitude is the highest form of thankfulness even before the favour is done

6. Resonance creates the time and space which helps us visually the energy in its bounty

7. Acceptance and contentedness comes in and we should keep all our energy channels open to be the receiver.

From a scientific and psychological framework, prayers could be defined as an intervention between your internal and external self in synergy with the universal elements.

It gets more simple, logical and practical to attain the efficacy of the prayers here as compared to the metaphysics and spiritual route, but, surprisingly they come with the same results.

Just follow these deliberations over a long regular period of time for maximum results.

1. Cultivate the habit of Self-talk in children. When we tell them our soul needs a listener at times. It does the trick of also loving oneself deeply.

2. When they arrive at Self-realization, tell them that they can express it through creative mediums of drawing, writing, singing, dancing or acting out as a skit.

3. Building Compassion. You have to show them this with little acts of kindness.

4. Empathy steps in here with higher state of consciousness on what others are feeling too.

5. Mindfulness comes through with knowing of self and others.

6. The child comes to be socially acceptable of all humanity and emotionally intelligent to open synapses in the brain and connect it to chords of the heart.

Since a child’s mind and heart is much lighter with lesser complicated thoughts and feelings, a child's prayer finds its universal commonality at all the above six levels much quickly and echoes back with an healing interconnectedness.  

To break the complication of the subject of praying, you can explain Prayer to your children as "a two-way wireless communication medium between them and the best of what the world needs".

Create the space and daily five minute time shift and start by saying..

"I say a little prayer for you!"

Show them and they will follow.

Copyrights: [The content here is copyrighted with Chirp, Chatter, Cheer, a creative platform which envisions to unlock your imagination power, build on your reflection and lead you on a path of self-discovery!!] ~ FB/Chirpchattercheer

Childhood doesn't care for the handy

My Morning Glory ~ Childhood doesn't care if what is given to them handy is broken or complete. They are happy with what they have because they don't see life as if it's a pyramid they have to climb. Their hearts are filled with content running across rugged lanes, chasing dragon flies, looking at the other side of the story. It is us parents who tell them about heights and the conquering part. There is no competition. There is only life to experience bit by bit taking strides as one grows up....
#parentinglessons
#parentingtips
#Emotionalintelligence #emotionalcoaching #parentingstyle #childpsychology
#childdevelopment #talktochildren #letchildrenbechildren #growingup
#parenting #lifeatschool #homewithchildren #homewithkids #childpersonality
#socioemotionallearning #emotionalquotient #eqmentor #eqcoach #eqtalk

Abundance

Sometimes you find another world.
A self-sufficient and thriving habitat, bringing about new life.
The interconnectedness is maintained due to its attitude.
It doesn't let judgement or influence touch it.
It's happy and content with its own essentials and little risks.
That way when we grow up we know what are the prickly thorns and we choose them to throw them away to create happiness.
And then maturity steps in and we do bring back a few thorns for us to grow around it and learn to balance life.
Anything which overflows can also cause harm.
Abundance is also a phase we live through!
#lifelessons #lifestyleblogger #morningwalks