Life of an Ambitious Woman

I will make sure I say that "I am Ambitious!" I told one of my hostel friend. I was working in Chennai then, loving each day for the extra zing it added to the independence I loved. I had decided for an traditional Indian arranged marriage after constant impeccable episodes from my parents and relatives. It was just a very normal day in January 2009, we met under the supervision of a dozen relatives under one roof but, did overtake them to end up in the terrace for to catch a few spoken words and fresh glances. We did share our numbers and I think I knew he will call me. And yes he did just the next day and asked me for a date. before I knew we were at his pace for dinner too and the third day we had my dad come to his place to talk more, fourth day was a bit of "silence before the storm" and the fifth day was all filled with a big "Yes"! It did feel too soon and indeed it was. But, I had already discussed with him my three points and yes, I had told him "I am Ambitious!". A few days later it was all sealed formally with a private ceremony and the dates were out for the engagement two months later. My dad was more concerned about the marriage so even those dates got fixed earlier and before I knew or was even engaged the wedding cards were out. It was either my dad's desperation or just a dice of destiny. The rings were exchanged in March 2009 with loads of happiness and beautiful hopes. It began the very next day, the issues, but the symptoms were out earlier. Well the women of his house, the mother-in-law and sister-in-law were all against our dream which had just begun and they made no all attempts to stop us weaving it. It was like this B-grade typical TV serial episode . I didn't want any negatives vibes with new relationships so for me it was very clear. It's yes or no and it was just an arranged marriage after all. But, I suppose my husband had already decided his call and so it did came as surprise when he told his family, that either we do this together or we proceed. Well, it did happen, June 2009.

I had to quit my job, to move in with my husband who was on a project in Andhra Pradesh. We knew Mumbai was on the cards in just a few months. So were calm about the future. It began the very next day of marriage, coming out to begin my new day, I asked her if there is any work in the kitchen ? The answer came calm and straight. That's what we got you for. I ignored it. But, did blast my husband later. I shouldn't have. I should have done it to her. My mother-in-law who wanted to stay with her son moved with us to Andhra. The nights were spend in union with the mother who would come knocking at our doors at even 12 midnight. Mornings were spoilt with again door bangs on making her so wake up and go to office. Well I am missing out on a lot more which came in-between, but, maybe that is because I choose to ignore it to the extent of not remembering much. But, I suppose every episode got thrown out of the window under the pretext of something or the other. In all that mess, I also got pregnant and my mom got me home early for delivery to help me get away with the viscous pangs of my mother-in-law. Time was good again.

The delivery time came near and my mother-in-law stepped back into my life. I couldn't get my labour pains and had to go for induced labour. There was a bit of a tension and suddenly my very normal delivery took a turn to become a C-section. It was a sudden decision with the fetus going into distress and the heartbeats started falling faster than time. My husband and my mother had gone down for coffee break and the nurse could reach through their mobile. My mother-in-law was called and told about the situation. And her reaction stirred a revolution in the OT ward. She was again calm and straight. She wanted the baby to not come on Tuesday but, the next day or any other. The doctor who was the HOD of gynecology bashed her with all her might saying the mother and baby are in danger and you thinking about a day. Any Day is good because everyday is a good day. This I came to know only later when the doctor told me. Inside the room I could hear a lot of commotion but, I was going through an unknown path myself that was filled with so much of fear that I have not known or understood before. All I wanted is a hand of courage and a heart of compassion. And what I got was what was going to define my thoughts for my mother-in-law for an eternity and more. She came into the room and I extended my hands. All she did was say "All the best" from a distance and leave me there all alone to go through what I going through. Neither have I met a woman like her before and not till now. She still stays and will stay as someone who never understood the true meaning of life and relationships in it. After having a healthy baby I was strolled back into ICU and all she could again say was "You have a cute one there". That's all she is, I thought to myself and told about it to my husband later.

The years to follow were never good and very bad at times, filled with verbal and mental abuses from her. Her venom was crushing our marriage still things were all the same. My constant appeal to my husband to do something about it was reacted with some strong joint conversations with his mother. Nothing helped. I realized that this woman was doing everything deliberately. She has decided she will hate me and won't make me stay happy. Her only need was her desire to be with her son. She doesn't have much to do with me or my son.

I started working on projects and then full time jobs and work from homes. She was never happy. Always cribbing about how I keep working on my laptop. She didn't touch the food I made for the first three years. Never will speak a word of praise or even feedback. It was my husband all along who tried getting both the roles into play. I was treated more like an untouchable and I was made to feel it. They say words can be forgotten but, not how one was made to feel. It stands so true in my case.

Things did change and I was the one who got them to change especially when the hell of her touched my parents too. I knew I wanted this marriage, and she is the one who is crumbling it, thrashing it and playing with it. I asked her to get out of our house. Go out for all you have done, I told her. Her ego is bigger than her womanhood so she did move out after giving me a shunted warning that she will tell the world that I threw her out. My answer was crystal, I said "Say it".

It's been a year now and we have maybe just had one or two fights which has nothing to do with her. We have loved and respected each other all along.

But, she can't see our happiness even from far and started some new gimmicks this year.

I suppose we are going to handle it as it comes....

So here was the other side of the life of an ambitious woman.

This is just the shortest version of what I wanted to express.

True in each aspect and a lot more not mentioned to spare you readers of the unnecessary ways of a vicious mind to control your life.

Ignorance can be bliss is very temporary.

We have to respect ourselves first and foremost.

If anything costs your peace it is not worth it…

And the last but not the least. Be clear and say "I am Ambitious!"

My husband married me for who I am and wanted to become.

And I have his support on it forever.