Every time, the news channels breakout to incidences of child sexual harassment, molestation or rape, our human conscience goes through this harrowing inescapable black hole. Our mind wanders relentlessly trying to escape the empathy we feel for the victim or the family. We never want to hear or see reports of such incidents again, but, then we are again knocked down to such sensational horrific reporting.
As parents and educators, we face complex turbulences of unceasing insecurity right from the time our children get dropped at school or picked up by the school bus in the morning, until, their cheerful voices echo back home. The daylight seems more prone to night-mares that the darkness of the sunset. In fact the eloquent nights give us a breeze of comfort, when our young ones are safely asleep within the confines of our home.
We do ask ourselves constantly and at times discuss within our inner circle, if this is the world we are bringing up our children in? If the present is such, what is the prediction of the future?
Going for a quick-fix solution, our parental instincts make us vulnerable to opt for a helicopter or narcissistic parenting style leading to a child who is bundled with overdependence, unwariness, anxiousness, low on self-esteem, insecurity-complex and depression. These are the kind of children who fail in their adulthood, ruining not just their happiness but, also of others. Because they were always being hovered upon, these children do not know how to react to situations - harsh or even simple.
As for educators, we are split between the fringes of school administration, management expectations and parental pressure on security & safety measures.
With the recent incidences of danger lurking not just around the school gates, but, inside the school premises, the need for upgrades on technology & human resources has become the most pressing concern.
Over the couple of years we have seen an upsurge in the number of videos coming up on good touch and bad touch. Our children are exposed to this very basic chapter on sex education as early as play group & nursery. Some of these naïve little ones do later discuss it out within their peers and also have a few questions for us. And that's exactly where our skepticism erupts on what to say and what information to withhold? How do we parents or educators take the lead from here? Haven't we always been the most mindful and alert when it comes to the safety of the kids? I am sure, we all are and have always been, but, the right terminology and essence here is that have been "Sensually" mindful and "Sexually" vigilant? The counter question is how do we practice and apply "Sensual mindfulness" and "Sexual Vigilance" as parents, educators and also practice it along with our young ones?
There are several tools & coaching methodologies to learn the skills of "Sensual mindfulness" and "Sexual Vigilance". But, even before learning or knowing them, we need to burst a few myths and join a few facts here as our first guide towards understanding how to start sex education for our kids:
- Myth - Sex education is a one-time lesson plan!
Fact - No, it is a continuous process during the child's growing years!
2. Myth - Sex education can make children unhappy and lead to unwanted complex kinky
behaviour.
Fact - We as parents & educators, need to have an open-minded approach in dealing with
these hard pressing issues, leaving behind any pre-assumptions about "Sex
education" defying any moral or cultural grounds.
3. Myth - Sex education is a lecture/a serious talk/ an argument.
Fact - Sex education works best when practiced as part of our routine lifestyle, just making
it a bit mundane, plug-in some new-age media, emotional literacy tools &
knowledge resources like books, articles etc.
4. Myth - Sex education will create fear in young minds.
Fact - In Fact, it's just the opposite. It will clear many real life doubts and make the children
more confident and courageous. Do remember that safety is better than fear.
Fear is dissolvable.
5. Myth - Sex education is setting boundaries with opposite gender.
Fact - The need to make sex education part of our system is to respect diversity and adopt
inclusion of all genders equally.
6. Myth - Sex education teaches the mechanics of sexual intercourse.
Fact - It is much more than that. Sex education cover a range of adolescent and growth
pattern topics on the human body and mind.
7. Myth - Sex education is embarrassing and unwanted.
Fact - No, it need not be at all that. Until, you as a parent or educator are not comfortable
with it yourself. There is nothing wrong or harmful in sharing the real life ways of
life with our young ones.
8. Myth - Sex education can best be learnt by reading books/watching videos.
Fact - The best way to have sex education plugged-into your life is through regular everyday
conversations with your children. The other tools like books, videos, movies are an
added resource. A personal touch can have the best impact!
9. Myth - Sex education is something they have to discuss with their friends/ cousins. Not with
us parents.
Fact - This may lead to either disbelieve, scary thoughts or a feeling of disgust. Remember
that friends and cousins are still almost their age group and may have just half-
baked knowledge on the subject.
10. Myth - Sex education is self- learnt. Eventually as children grown-up, they will know.
Fact - The 21st century has seen the highest circulation of knowledge. But, also insecure
environments, both online or offline. Because of so much exposure, children start
experimenting with their own bodies & start relationships very soon. We need to walk the talk
with them now.
Our collective responsibility as a 21st century citizen is to break our own myths and join the facts, leading to a happy & safe family. Let us start NOW.
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