Mornings come with quirky chats and
pickled humming. My son Tvastr, makes the most of our weekdays with us through
it. My short walk to the bus stand with him usually has some new connotation to
the mundane route. Every time we reach the bus stand I realize how pre-occupied
my mind is, planning the day to come and
how observant my son’s is, giving me hints on how he is sponging up every
little pixel on the way. Small things, but smart things. One day, he said, “exactly
like the umbrella with us.” I didn’t understand because I was looking down and
pondering on stuff. And he repeated again, looking on his left “Not the same.
But, same colour – Pink and Blue”. And indeed it was, the same kind we have. I
could just smile. Every morning he makes me realize how I’m so away from the
truth, so not in the present, so lost in time to come and not in time to
celebrate.
Our wait for the school bus gets all
the more stimulating, because daily brings a different topic of discussion.
Never mind him rantering on the automobiles which are passing by. That’s like a
watermark on the backbone of our life. The little one is quite capable of
having a good dialogue with his own opinions. We talk about anything and
everything under the influence of a six year old, right from family members to
what he wants to eat next time we order out or the rise & fall of the yin
and yang in life.
This morning we somehow landed up
talking about friends and so I asked him “who are your friends?” Sulking a bit,
he said ‘I have no friends mamma’. And then he became sad. I said, but you know
these boys and girls in your class, you know them over the past four years now,
someone must be your friend. Well, he
continued, Jayashree, the new girl in our class plays with me at times. But then Jayashree’s team wins every time, so
she spends time playing with them more. “Who else?” I asked. He said, “Shrey is also my friend”. But he has
many other friends too. Without giving a pause, I said, “so what? Good he has
other friends; they too can become your friends. Friendship doesn’t mean you
walk and play hand in hand only with the one. Look at me, mamma’s friends are
everywhere, all over the different continents. I started naming a few he knew
and he started telling the location they are based in. Isn’t it fun having
friends from so many places, I grinned along with him.
The bus was running a bit late, and so I
continued our chat, asking him, “why don’t you make new friends, go and ask
someone.” He nodded his head and said, I did ask someone, mamma. And? I asked,
smiling and hoping for the answer. His expression wore a mix of courage,
blushing, shyness and ultimately heartbreak. Picking himself up he said, mamma
the reply was “I don’t want to be your friend”. Just as he replied, a piece of
my heart got crushed. I could literally imagine a tiny heart balloon coming out
of my big heart balloon and someone pricked it and it burst ..puff. I asked
Tvastr, who was it? And he said, “I can’t tell you mamma, don’t ask.” The
answer was so crystal that I didn’t find any courage to pacify him again to
give me the name. There was a minute of silence which seemed like an eternity.
With thoughts racing through my mind breaking the barrier of my core perception
that as his mom “I need to know every miniscule detail of what is happening in
his life”. This little man holds his tiny
secrets and he is brave enough to take care of them. I need in no way to
pacify him to trust me with everything, it’s just so okay for him to have his
privacy. It’s absolutely fine for him to have these little heart breaks, relationship stings and growth waves. I need
not make everything perfect for him. Imperfection will teach him how beautiful
life is by finally falling into place. Just like you and I have made it to this
day, he too will make his way and find his path…
Honk Honk ..the yellow bus arrived and
took my brave little man away to live his day his own way…
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