The door for feeling human seems to be at the far
end of the long resilient corridor, because every day still brings with itself windows
of gender differences. Even though, our country ‘seems’ to be screaming of its
woman power icons making their place at world’s end, here we are, as singles,
committed, complicated or married, all together men, women and our kinds,
making our choices on friendship and the drawing lines of extent. I severely
feel like bursting some of these bubble makers and sensitize them of their
mental limitations. We have forgotten in all sense of what ‘Being human’ is all
about except for the fashion line which is all together another ironic story
which I have no intention writing about.
Does marriage make people more conservative? Do
couples form the base of their relationship on rules of opposite sex behavioral
outlooks? Do marriages have a rule book which says “Friendship” is secondary to
the security of our marriage? Well, I’m sure the answer is a thunderous yes for
many men and women out there. And all I feel is pity for them and glad for me,
that from the root of my mind I’m not like any of them along with my husband. And
I’m sure a lot more are like us, similar in being open to embracing friends
from wide & far and near.
The cultural aspect of friendship is so farfetched,
we don’t even accept gender co-existence in our marriages. Thanks to
generations of patriarchy, the concept of opposite sex friends still has not
found a rooted hold in our community. Of course the change is till you are wed,
the torch of patriarchy is then the right of your spouse, women more and men
less though, from my outlook. Women feel the need of the three F’s then, beginning
with, he will fend for me, he will fight and kick for me and he can then flip
me. The men on the other hand feel the three P’s, starting with owning her
makes me powerful, making her happy makes me feel privileged and having her
makes me push. Putting this all together in a bowl along with some variables on
dreams, ambitions, and compromises here is our modern day marriage scenarios fringing
out on benefits. On the out it seems so outgoing and in the inside it stops you
from growing as individuals closing in on exploring your mental, cultural and
social growth as humans. All you are left with are the titles of husband and
wife with a tag “Happily Married Ever After”.
The question on gender is that the learning of different
perspectives on human growth through relationships like cross-sex friendship
continue as of now grinding and churning and looking for outlets of freedom. We
call ourselves modern out lookers under the ironic scrutiny of friendship all
barred under the knot of marriages. In fact, the undertone of many marriages
out there, are coming out brewing with spousal jealousy, insecurities and possessive
break downs. Indian households believe in protecting marriages beyond fake
dignity and that means something like cross-sex friendship is not secondary but
in fact not considered as something of any prominence.
Considering the existence of these unwise and
ridiculous mindsets, where is gender consideration in the betterment of this
society and growth of our own self? Well, all is out there hidden, unexplored,
at times self-caged, taunted by spouse, assassinated by the society and thrown
out of view!
Making up from this, it seems right to say that gender
inequality continues its journey gaining momentum through the different strides
in life hoping for respite and its final redemption..
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