It's pretty simple for grown-ups to tell each other during trying times - "Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth".
But, how do we explain this to our children?
How do we build the required mindset in them to know their self-worth and of others?
In this age of extremely high level competition, how do our children cope with the risk of failure?
How does the "Character building" task of parenting roll out?
The answer is quite a long one, because character building is a gradual journey taken up with loads of life skills, experiential learning, emotional forces, mindset patterns and knowledge infused into our daily routines.
Out of the 10 stages of character building task I follow, I will pick the very first aspect of this ever-changing adventurous sail called "Self-Esteem"
What is Self - Esteem?
"Self-Esteem is an inward and outward mirror of a child's personal belief system."
The foundation of self-esteem can be laid best in these 3 given scenarios:
- Non-Judgmental: A loving and understanding environment, where the child's mistake is not taken to judgement. The absolute downside of parenting in many cases is that many think, children need to be marked on wrong doings and questioned on behaviour. But, for a child, each stage is a learning feat, until the age of 18 when they are completely equipped with the invincible adult mind.
PLAN: Stop giving Time-outs, Punishments, or verbal thrashings.
2. Acceptance: Embracing children for who and what they are, becomes of great value later in life. There are several dimensions to this stage - Personality traits, social interaction, Physical appearance and more. Recognizing children for their unique abilities and accomplishment of challenges goes a long way in building the strongly willed and beautiful person you want your child to be.
PLAN: Stop Comparing, degrading and unnecessary flattery
3.Coping with Failure - Acknowledging children for their efforts and helping them coping with setbacks and tiny failures will go a long way in making them confident and cooperative fellow beings. Giving and receiving respect in such mini failures can benefit a great deal to end self-doubts and concentrate on goal-setting.
PLAN: Start with these tiny plans for both you and your child and keep adding to it every month. Working like partners sharing the credibility of success, stress at work, frustration of failure and celebration of success.
Quoting Buddha here, who said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”.
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