Wretched life! Wrecked me!

Am I a liar? Am I the waver?
Am I so wrong? Am I such a yaff?
Am I hornswoggle or some lollygag?
Am I all this and you are not?
You axed me off! You tricked me warm!
With no fault of mine you kicked me down!
Wretched is this life for what I thought!

Wrecked am I for what I have done!

The Underestimation

The world shrinks as we move, towards an unknown day and a darker night!   
    

Reaching out to the one you know, brotherhood or sisterly act, stands at zilch without an ounce!

The moments are just about underestimation which either you do or I!

You don’t want the other, ahead of you in rat race or otherwise!

Crazy people on a high don’t think twice before acting wise!

You are nothing, I am all, is the choice of almost every voice!

Life gets betrayed, at the edge of this bleeding rise!

Time gets foiled with unbinding tries!

Away, Far and Incomplete

Away from home, away from you;
Far from some, Far I have come;
Incomplete is day, Incomplete is night;
Away, Far and Incomplete am I!!!
(Missing you miserably, love you unconditionally)

A Bird in hand

It so happened.... that on one of my busy mornings last week, I had just got out of the front door holding my son's little soft hand. We had just taken a few flight of steps when I spotted something grey-bluish moving on the window pane of our building. The movement was so sober and restrained, that I just couldn't figure out what it was. As, I neared the edge of the last step, I knew the probability of what it was. Just a few steps further, there it was - a tiny, just-born, little featherless birdie, fallen from somewhere above. My two year old son was as moved as I was, just that he was much quicker than me in extending his hand. I stopped him just there trying to make him understand in our blabber language, which he did. With strains of efforts this little birdie was rubbing its soothing skin on the rough cement wall of the window pane and moving towards the edge which obviously it didn't know. The eyes where still not open but, it chirped and chirped as it moved forward. 

The little birdie as I laid it in the carton box

 The only moment I realized then and there was, when I looked at my son and my eyes went back to this little birdie. I got my mobile from my bag and gave a call to Just Dial! Hey, can I have the address and phone numbers of Vet doctors. The response came through an SMS. And I called a clinic in Vashi and I was told to bring the bird there! I took the bird in a small carton box, dropped my son at the day care and reached the vet clinic. 

The clinic in Vashi

I was in Que with one doggerman, two Petit's (there eyes were as hopeless as I was in guessing how they are surviving away from France from where this breed origin's from), a cute round doodle and a huge guardian. I asked the helpers there, if I can leave the bird and take leave. The response was a hard "No". I had to wait for the doctor to lead me somewhere where I can make the bird stay. In the phase of these events I realized I had left my mobile cover in the auto I had landed up in. I gave a call to my hubby to give this birdie news. He was much happier to know that I had only lost my mobile cover and not my mobile!! (An interactive S2 which costed him bombs!) 

Finally, I came to face the doc who was already appraised by those over-surprised helpers who thought I was wasting my time and had already told me in between that I should just leave the bird somewhere! Now the doc already had a smug on his face which was getting on my nerves. He simply told me that the only option I have is to hand over the bird to the "Bai Sakarbai Dinshaw Petit Hospital for Animals" at Parel. I was already being given the travel instructions. I did request the vet if he could feed the bird some water and I was given a dropper. I requested him again but, there seemed to be zilch response. I asked him again if I could leave the bird there and someone can either drop or pickup the bird from the clinic. The doctor was just repeating his golden words "Bai Sakarbai Dinshaw Petit Hospital for Animals". Just to give some intellectual inputs he pointed out the bird seemed to be a rare bird because its hind legs are very long and the birds body width is quite broad. The feathers seem to be blue in colour and it may be it's a night bird.

                      

The bluish feathers

I got out and gave a quick call to my hubby who liked the idea the helpers had given me. I ended the call and found the helper standing behind me. I asked him again for a better view of the route I have to undertake. Shaking myself I took a shared auto to Vashi railway station and took the VT local for Sewri. En route I found myself surrounded by little kids who for some reason did not hear the birdie's call because of the velocity with which the train travelled, otherwise, there would have been some real hype and unnecessary "Can I touch it?" queries. Once I got out, I buzzed on a few people's direction sense, took a cab and finally after a few minutes reached  "Bai Sakarbai Dinshaw Petit Hospital for Animals". I had started talking to the bird since it seemed talkative too. The bird's call for its giver had gone up over the past 2-3 hours. It sounded more like a shrieking quiver. I knew it needed more than water and food and was all the more hopeful that this place we were going to will fulfill its need. The people in the shared cab I had taken including the driver did give me some "over reactive looks"!!

I walked into the compound of "Bai Sakarbai Dinshaw Petit Hospital for Animals" and found it to be a very old complex. 

                                 The entrance to the hospital

The place was divided into zones for dogs, cats, horses and more. I showed the security my reason for being there and he gave me directions. I walked till the end of the compound where a board said dog ward. 

The path which lead to the room where I handed over the birdie

A few helpers were moving around and I showed them my little birdie. "Oh!" was the exclamation I got from this one helper. He took the small carton from me and walked off. I asked him if I should stay to see the doc and if they will be able to help the birdie and he said "dekhna padega" - (have to see). I asked him to handover the birdie to me again. I said one bonded farewell to the birdie and gave it all the luck in the world for now I said "It's your destiny, I have done my part to whatever extent I can!"..After giving it one very long look, I gave it to the helper and left back. It was a little painful for I will not know what happened to the bird but, somewhere the dreamer, fantasist, positive out looker and karma believer in me, believes that the bird will take wings of delight! 

The room. The last time I saw the birdie here.

When "The only one" fails you!

A world full of people does not count, does it?
The one in the world, does!
A list of friends, dusk-off, don't they?
There is one who dawns!
A thousand words fade away, wont they?
But, one gets embossed!
A lovely life fakes and with thorns,
When the only one fails you!

Hopeless and plagued

I have been hopeless many a times now,

I feel I'm sinking to the bottom of a vast entity!

I have been ruthless to myself and mine,

Defeating moments of happiness!

I feel like stabbing my own heart,

waking up to what my mind broods!

Selfishly threading a boggling past,

I strike at people's pride!

The pride that's me and only me,

I make them break and shake a sigh!

Oh, I've prayed and swayed,

but, I come back to this trap!

An anger which caught webbed,

returns back again to hate!

I quack, I sack with dismay,

my own heart, my own part!

Oh God! Be with me to forget and forgive!

For I can't take anymore this plague I pass!

PUNCHLINERS

Do not go where the path leads, rather, go where there is no path and leave a trail!


The past needs to move on to make way to the unknown future. But, that is when explorations happen!

I loose my heart everyday :( ...................God's given me a man who wins it everyday :)

The journey of discovering ourselves in each other!

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved !

The Present is the KEY to FREEDOM. We LIVE in the NOW !!! Practice it and live life to the fullest :)

Ecstasy at “Mini Sea Shore”

I came for you and only you,

You drag me at times and call me at times,

I get drawn with blissful reminders,

How we met, the moments we got wet!

You colour my life with delight and

Make me vouch for your sight!

I switch off my life to be with you,

Drown my thoughts to ride with you!

The moment of truth, life’s bountiful proof,

You make me live life in a happy loop!

You look at me with rapturous halts,

And that’s when I jump with inspired jolts!

Ecstasy at “Mini Sea Shore”

Rejuvenates my senses without doubt!

You may know not who this is, but you got to know,

It’s a chuski, a kala-khatta with lime as tops!  

RECIPE:- Crushed ice made into a gola. Insert a candy stick into it to hold. Pour a flavour of your choice on the gola. Cola, Mango, grapes, orange, rose, kala-khatta or any other. You can add some kala-namak, pepper, lime for the Masala. Now take halted chuski sips. It’s a summer’s treat to quench your thirst for coolness! 

A funny today

I had a really funny day today, something got stolen from my house and I hope it comes back...it was a gift from one of life's best couple!!!Praying to god as I write further.......


Today, was a funny day!
my moods went upstream,
then downstream and 
then floated away...to repeat.....


Morning came with a bolt, a precious something got stolen!
It made me fume, it made me act, it made me go in search for that!
That thing made me consume time, submerge myself into a infinite rhyme!
A rhyme to find out if it still lays unseen, somewhere layered to make a miss!


Afternoon, I decided to forget it all, or I would have fallen into its trap 'O' maul!
I lived another life, I walked another world, I watched a movie and made it live!
Two hours of greet with characters upbeat, made me climb to my moods sublime!
I then  made a Que for books so bright, they make you glued to where you sit tight!


Evening, brought in memories of the lost, my precious got stolen, O I sigh!
I thought of God, the person who might know the truth behind the unknown fact!
Oh, I'm sure so much that more, I knew who might have taken it to darken my light!
I hope it comes back where it belongs for it was a gift from life's chosen knights!

The age of turbulence - Brief Insights into our own Indian marriage

13 on my fathers side and 6 on my mothers side together takes the count to 19! With a lifted
nose and broadened shoulder bones I start taking the long count of my neice and nephews from these 19 cousins I own. Spread across several lanes and by-lanes of the world, I still know very less about are these finely woven family threads. The charm of facebook has been maintaining our networking levels too. A few of us do call each other occasionally to know more than what we know already from the posts, updates and tags.

I take the liberty to say that one of the best things to happen in our life, is the marraige which we attended of each other's. The fun we had then knows no bounds. It brought us closer like never before but, sadly also took us away from each other like never before. Now, busier than never before, and with all in our generation tied up, we fail to find reasons to club along. We try to find an opportunity for a re-union but, it never seems to come along.

Our own Indian marraige was kind enough to show us days of such free spirit and joy. Every marraige we had in our family has become life's celebrated moments captured in our minds and hearts forever and ever.  

Taking from here, have I been thinking, noticing, gazing, hearing and listening about "Our own Indian marraige". The contemporary route it has paved for itself, by still staying rooted to its magnificent larger than life image is quite amazing. What I briefly picked up to share with you is just one element of this big affair. The element which today seems to be going through the "age of turbulence". The element which over many generations has proudly claimed to have sole ownership of the "Y Chromosome", tagged to be 'the bread winner of the family'. We call him the Man, the masculine of its kind. Being a non-feminist, I always look gently on the other side too. And what I found was that our men are going through the "age of turbulence".They are all the more confused, stressed, undecided, reeling under extreme pressure. Today, as we Indian woman take a stand at every point of our life with a bolder outook like never before, our men stand baffled. Girls at a very young age seem to be putting their mind at work on relationships. The heart seems to have taken a back seat. The emotional quotient in a relationship seems to be of less priority with girls who are demanding a relationship which has a more practical clarity in understanding each others needs and values. The Indian men who knew their mothers as the giver of their life are having issues understanding this woman of his life who takes and gives. Men at work are more dumbfound with woman co-workers and leaders taking over their chances. This is what modern India looks like at this point, a phase in time which is watching the "Rise and rule of estrogen" as my husband terms it.

Our own Indian marraige has come to become innovatively experimental. The game seems more interesting. The dices seems to have changed shapes and numbers. The snakes are plenty, the ladders less. Indian men are still working on coming to terms with the emergence of this modern Indian woman. They are falling back on their momories of childhood, comparing, relating and wondering of what they knew of the woman they owned then in their mothers and stand all the more flusterred. There are no rules! That's today's Indian marraige! The Indian marraige is gradually breaking the age old tag of institution and principles to take new dimensions. But, what stands unsettled is our men. But, I suppose they are going to take time.
The war of the sexes seem to be gushed up on one side as of now and it will take time for men to unite their understanding for it. Meanwhile, I suppose some of us woman should not be using our reins but,just hold it. It was always meant to be in our hands, it has always been in our hands. The world has always come to give both the sexes our equality. We unite in each other to take the form of oneness. We are inseparable, merged into each other. Only a tandava by a man can evoke a lasya in a woman and vice versa. The cosmic energies come together to be the most positive whenever this happens. Here is something I came through some time back. It's worth reading -

“Agnishomatmakam jagat (अग्‍निषोमात्‍मकं जगत्‌)” is a quote from the Shrutis (Vedas). Fire (agni) is the male principle and is present in the menstrual flow of the female. The moon (soma) is the feminine principle and is present in the sperm of the male. Desire (kama) is the force binding the two. These two principles get attracted to one another due to desire. Philosophy too elucidates the same tenet. When Shiva gets associated with Divine Energy (Shakti) He becomes active. In the non-duality (advait) described in the holy text of Shivagam, Divine Energy (Shakti), that is the Great Illusion (Maya) is not renounced but is considered as the Energy of Brahman (Brahmashakti). The permanent union of Shiva and Shakti is considered as non-duality. Hemadri has described how this half-feminine (ardhanari) form is to be created in the text Chaturvargachintamani. According to him - the right half of Shiva should be that of a woman.’ In this form the potential of the feminine as well as the masculine principle is equal; hence it is described as ‘Shaktyasahitaha Shambuhu (शक्‍त्‍यासहित: शंभु: ।)' meaning The Lord Shambhu (Shiva) along with Divine Energy (Shakti).

I would conclude with a old saying "Men are the Kings who rule our minds and we are the queens who rule their hearts". Changing this seems too uncool to me.

(Just tried sketching the expressions of the eyes when performing the tandava and the lasya. Tandava is more vigorous in nature. Lasya is more graceful and gentle.)

I love you

You sparked up my life like never before, when I had been so low like never before,

You came to me, you touched my heart, You made me sing.. songs of life,

I loved you then, I love you now, Just that I never told you time around!

Ohhh..Ohhh…Ohhhh..hhhmmmmmm…hmmmmm…OhhhhhhhhhhooooOOOO

I want to know if you felt the same, the touch of breeze makes me lame,

I’ll come to you , you own my heart, you made my life kick start,

You let me go to pave my path  & define what is life’s better choice!

Ohhh..Ohhh…Ohhhh..mmmmmm…mmmmm…OhhhhhhhhhhooooOOOO