Talking about the withering behaviours of our times, sincerity
rakes up the world around us. It seems to have climbed up the charter of being
one of the uncool traits to hold on too. It’s been stamped with a lacklustre
traditional outlook which is too sluggish for today’s world to follow up with.
Consider looking around, and listen to the conversations blaking out from small
friendly hubs right from even out of the age group of 10-year olds. I will not
be surprised to see that cringe on your face. The “Trolley problem” rules our
world like never before. Part of a thought experiment in ethics, the trolley
problem studies our moral and sincere responses to major decisions in times of
uncertainties like accidents, saving life, killing someone for reasons of
bigger quantity and quality. However, I think the trolley problem has escaped
its density to find momentum even in minor decisions of our everyday life. Here
is why I say so…………
A very typical
example comes from our daily routine cycle ………It’s peak hour! Stuck in the
monsoon traffic, the honking blows away what’s left of your sanity after work.
The phone cranks up, and you find out that your boss still has his daily
planner run into the next day. And all he could do to befriend his anxiousness
is call you. As you talk to him hands free, there is a missed call from your
wife’s office number. Of course by now you must have ascertained that you have
to take the next right turn to pick her up. Hang on, you’re in for more
ambiguities today. There is another incoming number flashing on your screen,
now this one’s exciting, it’s “unknown”, and you tell your boss I have to take
my other call, catch you tomorrow. You pick this unfamiliar call and you find a
recognizable undertone on the other side. Your friend quips on his new number
and says he needs you immediately for a presentation he has to give tomorrow.
You are almost nearing the right turn, and suddenly there is a smash of
glasses. It’s a bike against a mini caravan. Since it’s a wide road, the
traffic gets cleared soon and you pass the accident site until to find a man
and a woman in a bad state. There are a hundred co-drivers behind you and on
the side-lines. Now, let’s ask ourselves some trolley questions, how many of us
will make this quick decision of doing the needful? Or are we confused what’s
supposed to be done in the first place?
Here is another one, from a very common setting of a 5-year old
marriage. The regular ways of shuffling between work and home zones takes much
of your time. All you want is to live life to the fullest in between these
tiring strokes of fate. You both have maintained your individual relationships
with your friends of yesteryears. Beaming up openly with your partner about
your feelings for anyone is a thing of cliché these days. More the comfort
level, if one of you or both have been in relationships before and had come-in
into this marriage with much maturity around the rise and fall of relationships. We all think the same way, out-looking life to have this unique
way of reinstating our faith in re-living what was undone and with this belief
you do start finding your unexplored feeling for an old friend and find its
intriguing response from the other side too. Is it wrong at this point is a
very straight-forward question but, above that is your comfort level in
accepting that feeling in yourself and then taking a decision of shifting the
message right through the beamer and then sharing that with your partner too.
Are you ready for this yourself? Or are you finally going to shift the blame
and say that you are a creation of circumstances??
Going forward to the next story, this one hit me the hardest. I
had an early morning train to catch to Surat that Monday morning from Bandra
terminus...I had just had one of the ugliest worded fight with my husband over
of course his deliberate ignorance on his mother's insensitive attitude towards
me. I already was a pinch away from losing my cool with any tiniest inclination
of unintended obscurity. Entering the station I straight headed towards the
rest room. Already, there was a queue at 5:30 in the morning. A Muslim woman in
her burqa with her little daughter joined me to wait for her turn on the side
queue. As she entered she gave me this little understanding glance for keeping
an eye on her little one. However, my turn came up instantly and I went in. Now
what began from there is what forms the troll here in all senses and angles.
When I came out, and this was a quickie, these three men who were sitting
outside had opportunely found this never explained shame of calling this little girl near them and where having fun giving her goose bumps. This little
naïve angel was almost shivering. One of the heaviest among them had the
audacity to even pull her by hand to make her sit on his lap. All this while I
kept staring at them with no offence treatment from their side towards me. I
was aware of the time and place we stood at and took the instant decision of
making it clear but stated feebly, “can’t you see, she is not comfortable, just
leave her!” and then I took her aside. I still don’t know why I didn’t scream
at them? Why didn’t I scream on their faces? Was it a self-protection mechanism
or the overall wellbeing of all three of us? These men asked me, “Are you going
to pay for them? Why are you so concerned? You just leave and go and we will
take care of her”. I again in my most composed voice replied, her mother has
asked me to care for her. Let her come and I will leave. The very moment her
mother opened the door. I returned the same glance of understanding back and
moved with a background score of all those three men laughing out loud.
Think about it! Trolley up…to your own emotional intelligence!!
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